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WIRED asks neuroscientist and biological anthropologist for their take. What is love?

Both scientists agreed that love is not something that can be controlled, curated or switched on or off. Instead, it arises from the depths of our subconscious. “Our subconscious mind has about ten times more information than our rational brain,” Toleikyte told WIRED. “So when we actually fall in love with a person it might seem like quite a momentary experience, however the brain is working really hard to compute and to produce that feeling.” This is what Fisher labels romantic love, something she somewhat unromantically describes as “a basic drive that evolved millions of years ago in order to enable us and focus our attention on just one partner and start the mating process.” So it's a complex series of computations of the subconscious brain that gives us an emotional experience we can’t control. How can we tell if what we’re feeling is definitely love? Becker Cad Free Download. Everything about the beloved takes on special meaning, said Fisher.

“The car they drive is different from every car in the parking lot. The street they live on, the house they live in, the books they like, everything about this person becomes special.” While you might be able to list what you don’t like about them, you have an ability to sweep this aside and focus on the positive. Then there’s the intense energy and mood swings brought about by love - elation when things are going well, to terrible despair when they don’t text, write or invite you out. By Dan Ariely Physically, love causes a dry mouth, a feeling of butterflies in the stomach, weak knees, separation anxiety, and craving for sex as well as an emotional union. “You want them to call, to write, and there’s an intense motivation to win the person - what people will do when they are in love is quite remarkable,” Fisher said. 'Love evolved to allow us to start the mating process with a certain individual in order to send our DNA into tomorrow' Gabija Toleikyte, neuroscientist In one study conducted by Fisher, 17 new lovers (ten women and seven men) who had been happily in love for around seven and a half months, had their brains scanned. The scans showed activity in the ventral tegmental area, a region of the brain that makes dopamine and sends the stimulant to other areas.

“This factory is part of the brain’s reward system, the brain network that generates wanting, seeking, craving, energy, focus and motivation,” Fisher writes. This, she found, means lovers are ‘high’ on a natural speed.

By James Temperton and Matthew Reynolds From the to the, there are plenty of theories that suggest love is not meant to, or even can last. But Toleikyte suggests it depends on how we look at it. Love as an emotion, she said, has follow-on effects: a deep connection between people leads to commitment and certain habits, and establishes boundaries where people identify themselves as part of a relationship.

“So love as a greater experience can last. But if any steps have been compromised, for example someone learns that a person is completely different to who we got to know, that can change the experience.” She said at an emotional level, love is still a function of brain chemistry which is changing all the time. “Sometimes we’re not capable of feeling emotions such as love, sometimes we go through flat moments where we can’t feel anything.” Fisher said a study she conducted proved that it can last forever (or at least after a couple of decades of marriage). In one study, 15 people in their 50s and 60s who told Fisher they were in love after an average of 21 years of marriage, were put into a brain scanner.

What she found was that some of the brain circuits, the basic brain pathways for intense romantic love, were still active. “These long term partners still feel some of the early stage intense feelings of romantic love, so yes, it is possible,” she said, although with a caveat - “you have to pick the right person”. Does love at first sight exist? Toleikyte and Fisher are both confident that yes, love at first sight does exist and more than that, it's easy to prove. Toleikyte is a living example. She and her husband fell in love straight away, getting married after one year of dating.